Greetings from Bihac -- pronounced "Bee-hatch", though "bi-atch" sounds way cooler...

The base here, a former car dealership, is the site of our first outdoor show, and the third of our tour. Today is our set up and orientation day, so we were treated to a driving tour of the town and came face to face with our first roped-off mined area. Plenty of photos to come!

Now I'm sitting here in what at one time must have been a car salesman's office, and I can only imagine the sales pitches that must have taken place here:

"You won't find a better deal on a Yugo than this... What? No, It's not diesel; it runs on corn oil, comrade! Now just sign your name here, and we'll call you in ten years when your name comes up on the list..."

Speaking of locals, I got big laughs in the improv set last night portraying one. Back at Camp Black Bear there's a gay Bosnian bartender that everybody knows and loves, named Sasha. He wasn't there to see my spot-on impression, unfortunately, but Milo, his big, burly friend with the gold teeth, was. He told me he enjoyed the performance, but his steely eyes gave me the impression that if I disrespected him again, I'd be in trouble.

Locals are the biggest challenge for the SFOR Stabilization Force in Bihac; most of the their time is spent tracking down mobsters and making their lives miserable. Like I said, we were treated to a driving tour of the town, but we didn't stop at any cafes, and both our driver and chaperone were armed.

So the army has this rule that everyone can only drink two beers a day. They even issue cards that get stamped for every beer that you have, on every day of every single month.

This means that most folks don't drink until the end of the day, which is obviously good when you spend your daylight hours walking around with guns or flying helicopters, but it also means that people like me, who would normally drink a beer maybe about once a week, are suddenly scrambling to get their daily allotment of suds.

Same with food... "Hurry up everyone! Breakfast is only on for another half hour, and if we miss it we'll have to wait another two before the next gargantuan meal is served..." As for sex, that no fraternization rule means that troops retreat to bunkers to get jiggy with it, and if you believe the bragging, someone is getttin' some on this base every single night!

Gotta make this entry fast... In ten minutes I'm going on a tour of Bosnia... By helicopter!

After a slow start, last night's show turned into a big success, and as usual, we headed over to the patio afterwards for our mandatory two beers. I would never actually drink this much if there wasn't a limit on how much I could drink!

Yesterday we supported the local economy with a trip to the black market CD shop across the road. I chose some local music over pirated copies of Avril Lavigne. After the chopper ride this morning I have the option of visiting a local castle, but I may opt instead to sleep away some more of my hangover...